Talk to your teenage children on the topic of STRESS.
Kavya Dhananjay Gagangras
(Counselor)
Parenting is not as simple as it seems. Just as a potter shapes a raw ball of clay to make a beautiful vessel, parents were the same. A potter has to be very careful while giving this shape. If you neglect it, there is a possibility that the vessel will get damaged, it will go crazy. That’s why everything has to be done very carefully. If anyone has the first hand to shape the personality of a child’s life, it is the parents. They are creating their personality.
They have to be very careful while doing this. And if the child is in adolescent age, this responsibility increases even more. Because at this age children have many new experiences. They are facing many things. Physical changes are also taking place. It is very new and unfamiliar to them. Education, friends and family, surroundings were all new. Many children experience stress in such situations. At this time they need someone who will guide them properly on how to get out of this stress. Will be with him.
The role of parents is important here. Because if anyone can guide in a good way at this age, it is the parents. And children are closest to their parents. So the more freely they talks to their parents, the less likely they talk to anyone outside. Of course, parents also need to create that relationship. Only then can they talk about it with their children. So let’s see how parents should talk to children about this stress that they feel, or may feel in the future.
1. No speech at all: One thing to note is that conversation is always two-way. Which is called two way communication. If only one is talking and the other is listening, it is not a conversation. In short, the other person is also given space to express himself. When you talk to your child about stress, it should be both sides. Our talking should not sound like we are giving a speech on some important topic.
2. Listen carefully: If you want to teach your children how to deal with stress, you need to listen carefully to what they have to say. Many parents start talking when the child starts to say something. “How did you do that?, it was nothing”. It was being talked about. But this left half of what the boy wanted to say. So listen carefully without interrupting them. Understand what he has to say. So then we will know how to talk about it.
3. Keep the atmosphere light: Just because you have to talk about a topic doesn’t mean you have to arrange chairs facing each other and make serious faces. The more normal you are, the easier it is for your child to open up and listen to you. So you can talk about this topic while doing something in the house, while out in the garden, etc.
4. Don’t overreact: When a child tells you about his experiences, there will be things you don’t expect. But if you reacts immediately after hearing those things, you may make the child uncomfortable. He might hesitate to say something next time. So don’t overreact. Make them aware that such things can happen. We have to see how to handle it.
5. Don’t take a teaching stance: No matter what the child says, you must do it this way, That’s how you should act. This is often said. But there is no need for this. Not every talk has to result in something big or teach the child a big lesson. So conversation becomes easy and light. We want the child to know that he or she is not alone. You are there for them when they need you. He has someone to support him.
6. Be empathetic: There is a difference between empathy and sympathy. Sympathy is sympathy. In this, man only tries to join the suffering of the other man who is suffering. But it is more likely to carry away on its own. Similarly, what the other person is feeling, we may not feel as strongly. But empathy goes beyond this.
We try to see the same world through the eyes of the other person. It tries to understand the same pain and happiness and not only that but also helps to get out of it. You need to be empathetic when your child shares things with you. I mean, I can understand what you’re feeling. Even if I say that I have gone through something like this, the children get support. Because we know we’re not the only ones who experience this. At the same time, the wealth that we have called experience is very valuable. We have learned a lot from it and that is what we want to pass on to our children. We want to share in their experience.
7. Be a partner: If you want to have a good relationship with children, you have to be friends with them at this age. Who will be with them. Be their partner too. Being such a partner, you have to do some things together. As for stress relief, there are some good exercises to manage, exercises you can combine. In which there is mindfulness, there is yoga.
These are all things you can do to reduce normal stress. You can talk about it in such a way. But if your child is experiencing a lot of stress, it is affecting his daily life, but it is best to seek the help of a good counselor as soon as possible.