Overthinking creates problems that don’t exist.
Kavya Dhananjay Gagangras
“Sudha, how worried are you? They must have been stuck somewhere on the way, so the call might not have been answered! Just sit quietly. Mihir will make the call on his own. Don’t worry, take this and drink.” Girishrao was explaining to Sudha. “Hey, how do you say that? How can you be without worry? The kids have gone on such a long journey. Mihir doesn’t need a phone call, but Disha shouldn’t either. How can this happen? Both of them should have reached. Look at the time now. How much? Four! Shaku calls her and she says her phone is not being picked up. Now tell me what to do?” Sudha was talking under a lot of tension.
Shaku means Shakuntala, Sudha’s younger sister. Ever since Mihir and Disha got married, she had been following them to come and go to our house. Shakuntala had no children. But she never missed him. She took care of Mihir like her own son. He had grown up in front of her. So she had a lot of love for Mihir. Both of them were living in the same city at that time. Mihir also had this lovely aunt. As a child, he used to run after her saying fly to fly. The habit remained the same and even as he grew older, he called her Shaku Mashi.
Later Shaku aunty and her mister moved to another city. Meetings became less and Mihir also started studying and working. At the time of his marriage, however, she had come and stayed with them. Since then, her only wish was to come and live with us after marriage. I want to spoil all my daughter-in-law and son. But for some reason or the other they were staying. Shaku aunty’s health had deteriorated a bit. I used to remember Mihir like that. So Mihir thought that after we left, the fly would feel better and have a good time with us, and health would also improve a bit. Thinking like this, they both left today. But even though the time to go had passed, neither of them had arrived. It did not require a phone. Mihir’s father was such a calm and restrained person. Whatever happens, they handle things calmly.
But on the contrary, Sudha was Mihir’s mother. It was her nature to overthink anything and sit with tension. After a little back and forth, her train of thought began to race. She herself suffered from this. Thinking like one, headache, nothing else. They would keep repeating the same thing, making any guesses. You don’t want to trouble yourself and others don’t want to get well. How to get? Seeing her in tension, the others also did not feel good.
A similar thing happened when Mihir was a child. Rickshaws used to take him to school and drop him home. One day he was late to come home from school. So Sudha took the whole house on his head. Girish Rao was in the office and called him. They were very persuasive, asked the rickshaw puller to call but she didn’t hear anything. At last he came home. Finally the rickshaw came and it was then realized that the children were being stopped at the school itself. The gathering is happening next month. Children were stopped to give his instructions. It was only half an hour late. However, after school, the rickshaw puller started dropping everyone off early. It took longer since Mihir’s home was the last. But Sudha did not think that something like this could happen, that school might end late at some point. If she could do it with a child, she would do it in almost everything.
Overthinking and taking tension was her permanent trait. She couldn’t believe that something different than what we think can happen sometime. Mihir and Girish understood her a lot. But it doesn’t affect her. On the contrary, she used to say to both of them, where do you understand my mind? I do all this out of concern. But you will never notice it. The truth was that she was troubling herself by overthinking, and they both cared, so she understood.
But man changes when he realizes that something is wrong. Sudha never realized this. Even now, it had not reached her, but her life was almost gone. Didn’t eat and didn’t take anything. Suddenly the phone did not come, what happened and suddenly started crying thinking that something bad happened with them. Girish was finding it difficult to pacify her. Now they were also getting a little worried. But he was very strong in mind. He was not in the mood to jump to any conclusion. He starts to explain to Sudha, “Oh don’t cry, it’s only been two hours, maybe the car has stopped or stopped somewhere and there is no network, we will wait for the phone! Their phone will come.”
At that time someone called. Girishrao immediately picked up the phone but the number was unknown. However, he picked up the phone. If you heard the voice, it was Mihir. Hearing what he said Mihir, Sudha immediately picked up the phone and started talking. “Oh Mihir, where are you? I was so worried about you. Shouldn’t I make a phone call! It’s been so long, I still haven’t picked up the phone. What do we mean. Where are you now? Are you okay?” It can be understood from her voice that as usual she has taken the house on her head. He calmed her down and said, “Oh mom, we are both fine. Just calm down. Don’t worry, I’m telling you!” He asked to put the phone on speaker and narrated the reality of what had happened.
As it happened, on the way, his car stopped. The place is such that the phone has no network. Not nearly enough. They both went looking for the garage, found it too but the phone was switched off. Finally, he took the number of a man there and called. Because it had been so long, he knew that mother would get tensed. So he did it before he went. Hearing all this, Girishrao smiled and looked at Sudha. She couldn’t say anything because like every time, this time she had already suffered so much.
There is one such Sudha in us or around in our house. Those who have a habit of overthinking. The matter is actually as much as rye but it is made into a mountain by thinking about it. And these thoughts are only guesses that are also wrong, negative. Which only bothers us. But these guesses are more painful because the person thinks they are true. Things that are not there, problems are created in the mind which causes trouble in real life. That is why it needs to be curbed.
If we want to curb this, we must first realize that these are all my mind games, my guesses. As things are happening around me, I see, I do not see, I do not feel. So there is no point in bothering with such a thing. The second thing is what we can do at such a time, we should try it, like we call, inquire. All these things we can do so that we can be satisfied. If at that time it is not possible but if you think you can do it later, you should plan your plan and start another job so that your worries go away. But if there is nothing in hand at that time, it is not right for us to trouble ourselves for no reason. At such a time, it is very important to consciously involve yourself with body and mind in other work.
“Man suffers more in imagination than reality!!”
When we get out of this imagination, our problems will be solved.