Benefits of premarital counseling !!
Kavya Dhananjay Gagangras
Marriage is very important in our India. Because here, basically relationships, their care has an important place from the beginning. The family plays important part in our country. Marriage played an equally important role in such a family oriented culture. Here, not two individuals but two families get married. Many new relationships are formed and connected which are lasts till the end of life. This is the characteristic. But if we take a look at the recent times, it can be seen that there are obstacles in maintaining the marriage. Divorce rate is increasing. The reasons for this are different. It varies from person to person.
But if this is to be reduced somewhere, some things need to be done consciously. One of them is premarital counseling. Premarital counseling is a part of couples therapy. In this, two people who are going to get married discuss various topics. Such as each other’s nature, financial situation, their views on intimacy, good and bad qualities in themselves are all discussed in this. “Premarital counseling helps couples create a blueprint for their lives together,” says Sabrina Romanoff, a psychologist who specializes in relationships.
There is still not enough awareness about counseling in India. On the contrary, there are many misconceptions. Even among them, there are very few who come for pre-marital counseling. Because people still hesitate to speak freely. But counseling in this way is very necessary. Because even though the reasons for the later arguments vary, there is a thread in it that the person, who is our husband or wife, still does not understand us well enough. Because there is no such communication.
Not that much time was given to each other. Because of this, even if they get married, they do not get to know each other well, and later, as one thing unfolds, the differences grow. Therefore, it becomes important to understand these things as much as possible about each other. Which is done through this counseling. Since many people do not know enough about it, the rate of going there is less. It is also important to know that it has many benefits. Let’s see what they are:
1. Better communication: The main purpose of premarital counseling is to make two people communicate better. Because both are strangers to each other. Their nature is not well known. So if there is a good communication between them, it helps to reveal the nature. Sharing your likes, dislikes, good qualities, various events in your life helps you understand the person slowly.
2: Understands Thought Patterns: Our thoughts have a huge impact on our overall life. How are these thoughts formed? So from your belief system. Premarital counseling helps to understand the belief system of the person. Understand his/her attitude towards life, marriage life.
3: Understand each other’s expectations/desires: When two people come together, in a relationship, it is natural for them to have expectations from each other. Be it husband as wife, daughter-in-law, son-in-law, work-wise, etc. It is only because there is not enough clarity beforehand that problems arise later. Through this counselling, those expectations are told, opinions are sought.
4. Problem Solving is taught: Counseling is given on how to resolve any small problems that may arise after marriage.
5: Anxiety about marriage is reduced: Many people get anxious when they think about marriage, whether they will be able to handle new responsibilities, new relationships. This anxiety is reduced in this counseling. A thorough discussion of the exact concern helps to find a solution.
6: Finding wrong/dysfunctional behavior and reducing it: Everyone has flaws in their nature. It can be discovered and worked on. which is done in Behaviors that may further hinder the relationship are identified and helped to reduce and correct.
7. Focusing on the good side: Everything has both good and bad sides. It is up to us what we focus on, strive to grow. It teaches to focus on the good side of the relationship.
8. Decision-making skills are developed: When a relationship is formed as husband and wife, decisions have to be made at many stages of life. And it’s not just one person taking it, both of them have to take it. So much understanding, communication is needed between them. Ability to make decisions together. About work, about children’s. This decision-making ability is developed in this premarital counseling.
9. Future can be planned: This counseling helps both to plan for the future. In which there will be financial intentions, will be about family. It helps to understand how all these things can be done realistically.
10: Acceptance of each other increases: If we understand a person well, can understand his good points, weakness well, if any situation arises in that regard, then the acceptance of that person increases. If it increases, the problem decreases. E.g. Let’s say that if the boy knows first that the girl is not very interested in food and can’t cook it properly, then if she does not cook at some point, he will have less trouble. Similarly in the case of a boy, if he is not in the habit of bringing the stuff from outside, there will be no reason for the wife to suffer. Instead, the focus will be on how to teach them what they lack.
Finally, even if the relationship is of love, only love does not work. All these things are equally necessary for that. So some things need to be done. Counseling is the thing that strengthens the foundation of our relationship. Because no matter how big a building is, its durability depends on how deep its foundation is.