Consequences of being disloyal with your partner.
Kavya Dhananjay Gagangras
(Counselor)
The relationship between husband and wife is as strong and pure, as it is delicate. It is tied up with many threads. It includes love, respect, communication, behaviour and most importantly trust. A small shake in any of these threads will affect the entire relationship.
Many husbands and wives show love to each other, bringing things for each other, going out. But when respect is required, when trust for your partner is required,
if it’s absent, slowly it creates gap in relationship .
As all these things are important in the relationship of husband and wife, it is important to be loyal to each other. What that means is to properly maintain that relationship with the person whom we have considered as ours in mind and body. Not giving anyone her/his place in your life. To fulfill this relationship with full honor and respect. Do not allow any third person to enter into it.
But does it happen? No. Often a husband or wife has extramarital affairs. The reason can be anything, conflict with each other, financial problems, problems in sex life. But where we really have to sit together and find some solution, we find a way which is wrong. such an external relationship breaks the unity between husband and wife. Because it happens very rarely that this extra marrital affairs are not open up. Although this disloyalty create due to various reasons, it is comes with consequences. Let’s see what they are:
1. Loss of trust: When you bond with someone other rather than your partner, it is a betrayal of that relationship. Not only you break your partner’s respect, you also disrespect the relationship. There is a reason behind the person with whom we are connected for life. Even if there is some tension in the relationship, having an affair is not the answer. This creates mistrust in the relationship. Partner’s trust on you goes away, decreases.
2. Creates guilt in your partner: When a husband or wife has an affair and their partner finds out about it, they feel guilty. If my husband or wife is behaving like this, it means that I have fallen short somewhere. I feel like there is something missing in me otherwise why would she/he have behaved like this? Often this ratio is higher in women. Because in our society, if there is any problem in the relationship, the wife is more likely to be blamed. It was said that you could not take care of your husband properly. This does not mean that it does not happen to men. This is the case with both. But women are at least allowed to release their grief. Unfortunately, men cannot do that. Therefore, many husbands face mental problems by suppressing their pain inside.
3. Wrong influence on children: We often think that children are small, what they understand. But it is not like that. Children’s lives are largely based on their childhood memories and events. Freud also points out that many mental illnesses stem from repressed memories of childhood. When these things happen between husband and wife, when one of the two has an extramarital affair, it affects the children. They feel the rift between their parents. And at this age, children’s role models are their parents. So they follow their example. In such a case, if all these experiences come to them, the relationships that will come in their next life will affected by these previous things. They hates their mom or dad who has an outside relationship because children also feel cheated. Therefore, even if the problem arise between the husband and wife it destroy the entire house.
Every relationship has problem, differences. It happens when people are different, their nature is different. But that doesn’t mean we have to break the relationship . Talk to each other, think again, see where this relationship can go, get someone’s help. But by bringing a third person into our life, we spoil not one but many lives. After all, it is easy to create a relationship, but it is not easy to maintain it. It has to be performed equally, sensitively.